Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2016 18:58:58 GMT -5
"Sit down kids and let me tell you the story about the birth of Atsuko" said the hyper-realistic badger with a santa hat. "But you said we were going to watch Home alone 2!!" His kids protested with many a prepubescent screech. "Shut the hell up, this is my story, YOU MUST LISTEN." and then the badger began to speak. "It began long ago, in a little place called 'Nazaratto' "
And so the screen did that flash back thingy it always does when a story teller starts talking about a past event.
It all began when Rumia, the Supreme kai was looking down on [INSERT PLANET OF RESIDENCE HERE] and saw a young virgin named Tomoroko, to which Rumia exclaimed "DAMN GIRL, YOU FINE!!" and desired to put a ring on it because she liked it. and so Soragami appeared before Tomo, with but one message. "My master has sent me with a message, she really thinks you're hot, so POOF, you're pregnant." And then the virgin had become a mother instantly. "Just name her "Atsuko" okay? those kais really insist that's what you have to name the baby." And so Sora departed as quickly as she had arrived.
The hyper-realistic badger was then interrupted. "Why did the sky lady impregnate a woman?" shouted the children, very uncomfortable with the progression of this story. "BECAUSE THAT'S THE RING!!!!1ONE" roared back the badger as the story returned to the past.
And lo, from the east, wisemen named "Bernael", "Flare", and "Zeni", who preferred the term "Wise PEOPLE" thank you very much, saw a star rise from the horizon, and they knew that it was part of the prophecy foretold to them. And so they traveled tirelessly to where the star led them, days passed into weeks, weeks passed into months, and they knew it would still be some time before they arrived; A fact which angered them much as several cries of "We should have taken a space ship instead of walking, what the hell." surfaced.
Meanwhile, back in Nazare-er, 'Nazaratto', word from Caesar Jarvgustus reached the town, his demands were that all people in his land must register for a census, (probably to find out who was the best waifu material), so the young mother and husband traveled to Judearth to register.
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TIME SKIPPPPP YO
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Young mother and child headed to the town of Beth le North, which sounds suspiciously like someone's name...As the mother entered labor, she had not but a stable to take shelter in, and soon the child was born to her. Tomoroko held up the new born tenderly, exclaiming "You shall be named Atsuko." she added under breath "Because those crazy Kais said I had to for some reason...Jerks."
Meanwhile, not far outside town, three shepards of humble upbringing named "Gouken", "Ermine", and "Chris" stood watch over flocks of sheep until an ice elemi came unto them with a message. "Hey a baby was born! It's suuuuper cute so come look okay? It's over there! BRING GIFTS." She then noticed that her entrance was rather sudden, and may have startled them, to which she added: "I'm not going to hurt you, don't be afraid!" And they kinda were lowkey terrified except for Ermine who just shrugged and played along begrudgingly. But it was then that Crystal returned to the heavens, as every kai in the land appeared above and started yelling obscenities at her. The shepards were confused, but played along and headed into the town, seeking this baby. It didn't take them long either, nobody has a stable these days, there were like...Two of them in the whole town.
They approached and saw that it was a good child, born from the heavens, and they were kinda happy but didn't know what to make of it honestly. All they did was stand around and stare at sheep. Not long after, the three wiseme-...er, wisePEOPLE arrived, bearing gifts of Gold, Frankenstein, and some guy named "Mirth". Atsuko shrugged. And it was then that Rumia appeared above and proclaimed "I AM AWESOME! LOOK WHAT I DID!" with a satisfied grin on her face, and knew that she had done good. And as all of her servants returned to kai land with her, she once more proclaimed: "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOOOOD NIGHT."
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The hyper-realistic badger then slowly closed his book, smiling at the children. "Well? What did you think?" To which the children responded with groans and the statements of: "Can I go play pokemon now?" "That story was terrible! Who writes this crap?!"
THE....ENDD.
And so the screen did that flash back thingy it always does when a story teller starts talking about a past event.
It all began when Rumia, the Supreme kai was looking down on [INSERT PLANET OF RESIDENCE HERE] and saw a young virgin named Tomoroko, to which Rumia exclaimed "DAMN GIRL, YOU FINE!!" and desired to put a ring on it because she liked it. and so Soragami appeared before Tomo, with but one message. "My master has sent me with a message, she really thinks you're hot, so POOF, you're pregnant." And then the virgin had become a mother instantly. "Just name her "Atsuko" okay? those kais really insist that's what you have to name the baby." And so Sora departed as quickly as she had arrived.
The hyper-realistic badger was then interrupted. "Why did the sky lady impregnate a woman?" shouted the children, very uncomfortable with the progression of this story. "BECAUSE THAT'S THE RING!!!!1ONE" roared back the badger as the story returned to the past.
And lo, from the east, wisemen named "Bernael", "Flare", and "Zeni", who preferred the term "Wise PEOPLE" thank you very much, saw a star rise from the horizon, and they knew that it was part of the prophecy foretold to them. And so they traveled tirelessly to where the star led them, days passed into weeks, weeks passed into months, and they knew it would still be some time before they arrived; A fact which angered them much as several cries of "We should have taken a space ship instead of walking, what the hell." surfaced.
Meanwhile, back in Nazare-er, 'Nazaratto', word from Caesar Jarvgustus reached the town, his demands were that all people in his land must register for a census, (probably to find out who was the best waifu material), so the young mother and husband traveled to Judearth to register.
------------------------------
TIME SKIPPPPP YO
------------------------------
Young mother and child headed to the town of Beth le North, which sounds suspiciously like someone's name...As the mother entered labor, she had not but a stable to take shelter in, and soon the child was born to her. Tomoroko held up the new born tenderly, exclaiming "You shall be named Atsuko." she added under breath "Because those crazy Kais said I had to for some reason...Jerks."
Meanwhile, not far outside town, three shepards of humble upbringing named "Gouken", "Ermine", and "Chris" stood watch over flocks of sheep until an ice elemi came unto them with a message. "Hey a baby was born! It's suuuuper cute so come look okay? It's over there! BRING GIFTS." She then noticed that her entrance was rather sudden, and may have startled them, to which she added: "I'm not going to hurt you, don't be afraid!" And they kinda were lowkey terrified except for Ermine who just shrugged and played along begrudgingly. But it was then that Crystal returned to the heavens, as every kai in the land appeared above and started yelling obscenities at her. The shepards were confused, but played along and headed into the town, seeking this baby. It didn't take them long either, nobody has a stable these days, there were like...Two of them in the whole town.
They approached and saw that it was a good child, born from the heavens, and they were kinda happy but didn't know what to make of it honestly. All they did was stand around and stare at sheep. Not long after, the three wiseme-...er, wisePEOPLE arrived, bearing gifts of Gold, Frankenstein, and some guy named "Mirth". Atsuko shrugged. And it was then that Rumia appeared above and proclaimed "I AM AWESOME! LOOK WHAT I DID!" with a satisfied grin on her face, and knew that she had done good. And as all of her servants returned to kai land with her, she once more proclaimed: "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOOOOD NIGHT."
-------------------------
The hyper-realistic badger then slowly closed his book, smiling at the children. "Well? What did you think?" To which the children responded with groans and the statements of: "Can I go play pokemon now?" "That story was terrible! Who writes this crap?!"
THE....ENDD.