Post by Hasenya on May 5, 2018 15:36:53 GMT -5
PL: 14,726 (+5% Fight to Learn)
Everything was stupid and terrible, and Hasenya just wanted to burn it all down. Most days now, with Tomina gone and no friends to speak of, she kept the Incinerator parked in Earth's orbit. Slowly circling the planet, and facing off towards the distant stars. It was the view she had been looking forward to, after all. But as she watched out the front of a ship with an expression as blank as stone, she could think of lots of things she might trade it off for: More cigarettes (as she had ran out a long time ago), an ass kicking from Tomina, the right words to say to Lamashtu. Fortunately for most and not so much for herself, space was not hers to trade off. The Elemi leaned forward as she sat, resting her elbow there and placing her tilted head into her palm, looking at but not truly watching the stars. Her face was blank and she was lost in her thoughts. She had been this way for a long time now, and other than her daily morning exercises, she had completely let herself go. The Incinerator had been a ship meant for three, but it was just one Elemi. One bitter, frustrated, evidently unstable Elemi.
Where normally she might have been a stubborn one and chose to shift the blame onto others, this time was very different. All things reasonable, unreasonable, and that just didn't make sense she had pinned entirely on herself. She had convinced herself that she was far too fucked up from her endeavors in her own timeline that she just couldn't function. It wasn't worth trying, as it only seemed to hurt herself and others. Worse, made her sorry little rear look like an idiot repeatedly. Maybe it was all that hand holding Excalibur had done with her while she was growing up, not that she would ever blame the one friend she had. Even if she were silent, and evidently angry.. Maybe angry with her. Hasenya wouldn't blame her, that seemed to be a trend lately. The only people she seemed to fit in with were Saiyans, and she based that just off the wonderful time she had spent with her cousin before she had gone off to the tournament. It didn't make her feel any better knowing that the only crowd she might fit in with were a group of people often considered the bad guys.
But then there was the possibility Tomina wouldn't come back, and each time Hasenya thought about it she reacted with varying degrees of violence and or rage that had over time devolved into her simply looking even more defeated and pathetic than she already did. And curse her element for being linked to her emotional state. Hasenya could barely light a cigarette anymore, and she seemed to deteriorate in terms of health even more. It was one thing to have her emotions linked up with her flames, and it sucked, but it was a whole other thing when her element also happened to be linked to her physiology. Smoldering, thick ash and burning embers keeping her barely living body intact. She had only barely avoided killing herself coming back, and the days where she wished she hadn't gotten that lucky were becoming more and more frequent.
Coming out of her thoughts for just a brief moment, Hasenya pushed the straps of her overalls off over her shoulders and quickly unbuttoned her shirt, tossing it aside and letting herself loose. No one was going to see her up here, and Tomina was very much gone. The scars she kept hidden under her clothing covered her from her waist to her neck, from her shoulder to her wrists, becoming more grotesque looking around the heart area. Under the surface of which was a dim orange light. Not that Hasenya was about to get a good look at that herself. She felt terrible enough, she didn't need the self-conscience check and to feel like a monster, too.
And that bug. Lamashtu was probably off somewhere committing some minor degree of genocide on what was left of the populace, and yet Hasenya didn't care. Whatever goal she had to go attacking the big players in the universe was stupid, selfish, and was going to end in her killed. If there were anything Hasenya should've been mad at her for, it was that, and not whatever else she had been going on about. Too late now though, and again, she just didn't care anymore. Somebody else could handle it, she would simply do what she felt was best for everyone and stay far far away where nobody would ever think to find her. Slowly wasting away and killing time before Tomina would inevitably come back and whip her back into shape, literally. If Tomina didn't come back? She'd do as she was told and go find Tarro on Namek. It would give her an excuse to leave that doomed planet behind. She didn't know where she would go from there, or if she would even be accepted in the Kingdom. If all else failed, forget about any sort of promise she made. This wasn't worth it anymore- Too many things had changed, too much shit had happened and her luck was only getting worse and worse. Excalibur was gone, and her cousin was likely soon to follow.
Hasenya wouldn't complain if death took her or a Kai finally did their job and banished her from existence. She was running on fumes, at this point.
WC: 924
Reward Requested: PL